​​Hi: First, thanks to Robert Berson for bringing to our attention a dance program, Dance For Parkinson’s Disease, which is providing free weekly classes from March 13th to May 15th in the Ossining Library (not the library in Sing Sing – repeating – do not go to the library in Sing Sing; we don’t have enough money to bail you out). This program is intended for “people affected by PD and their caregivers.” The contact number is 914-941-2416.

​There’s been talk, whispers at first, then louder rumblings, about some ‘questionable behavior’ by the treasurer of PPP – that would be me. For example, some of the Bored members didn’t appreciate our purchase of extra cake for me after the last recent party. Well, the decision to buy those rich Pepperidge Farm Golden Layer Cakes (so moist and topped with a “creamy icing”) was made by a few of my subordinates (‘Racketeers’) – I had nothing to do with it. And the ‘pricey’ security detail these Bored Members are bitching about, is also a nothing burger. Yeah, I had one of Pleasantville’s finest accompany me on my way home to Connecticut – I don’t deny that. But that’s because I’d just beaten this guy with long pips in the Thursday night league, and everyone knows how malicious and vindictive those guys can be. I just didn’t want that Two Winged Looper to cut me off on Route 120. Thank god for that cop car. Didn’t cost us that much anyway.

Look, if they don’t like what I’m doing, then bring in Scott Pruitt as treasurer. But why? I’ve already drained the swamp. Now, Ben Carson, another Trump cabinet guy, he bought 30,000 dollars worth of furniture for his office. I only paid a fraction of that for my new Barclay Lounger (a very comfy chair, I must say) – so PPP didn’t get ripped off, believe me. And I only got one ticket at the Tennis stadium for the Open. Shulkin, the Dept of Veterans Affairs guy, got a whole truckload of Wimbledon tickets. And, sure, I used a private jet to visit my sister in Maryland. What, you wanted me to walk? C’mon, who donated all the Diet Coke at the last tournament? And I didn’t even pay myself back for that stuff.

Bottom line: Trump says I’m doing a terrific job at Treasury. Lao Du

​​We are all mortal men … and mortal women, and we will eventually end up in a … cemetery or crematorium. Or be buried at sea or something like that. But regardless of how we are disposed, we will ultimately decompose and eventually our constituent elements will be made available by the work of worms, fungus, bacteria and the like. Gonna happen to all of us. No one escapes the decaying fate. It’s part of a never-ending cycle of anabolism/catabolism (building up, breaking down). Although poets may have described a flower that was perpetually in bloom – the so-called eternal amaranthine flower – that notion was strictly fictitious. No such species ever existed. Sorry again, flowers also die. And the beginning of that TV show of the 60’s, Ben Casey, always started out with that phony metaphysical “Man, Woman, Birth, Death, Infinity” which is also completely misleading, too (even though it’s hard not to believe Sam Jaffe who says it). Nope, sorry, nothing is forever (taxes, maybe). Yeah, even infinity doesn’t really exist. The road does eventually end – in a box, a slab or a watery grave somewhere.