Editor: Lao Du, how are you feeling?
LD: Well, except for the cough, the fever and the shortness of breath, I’m fine.
Editor: That’s not funny.
LD: Ok, ok, no shortness of breath.
Editor: Still not funny.
LD: Ok, okay, I would feel much better if I could notch some ping pong victories. I’ve been losing too much. My diary is demanding wins – glorious victories.
Ed: Doesn’t sound important.
The Governor of NY just announced that Phase IV is about to happen in Westchester County. Before you jump up and down like a third grader who’s just been handed a Three Musketeers bar before going outside for recess, you should know that this phase 4 opening excludes the WTTC which is considered a gym, and Coumo put the kibosh on opening up gyms. Not just that – he hasn’t indicated whether there will be a phase V allowing such facilities to open sometime in our lifetime. So, perhaps it’s best to consign your ping pong days to some fond recollections that you will soon totally forget. Me? I don’t think I could get to the club without a GPS anymore, and I forgot whether you play to 15 or 21. The club has practically vanished from my consciousness. Well, a couple of things I remember. I do know that 2020 had some special significance, although I get confused about it. Until yesterday, I thought that was my table tennis rating until someone disabused me of that notion, insisting it was this year of our Lord.
Several weeks ago, I gave myself a haircut. Not a good idea. On the side of my head, just a little northeast of my left ear, it looks like some golfer left a large divot with a sand wedge. Well, ordinarily it would have been a big deal, and I would probably have been forced to wear a beanie or some other kind of a hat to cover up the disaster area. But since I was holed up – sheltering in place, as they say – this haircut misadventure (hey, maybe I shouldn’t have used those hedge-trimming shears) won’t have any major repercussions. Why? Because nobody will ever see it. And that’s a good thing. Living alone, self-isolating it turns out, can be advantageous. Yep, it’s true, and something I know about. How do I know? It’s because basically I’m a hermit.