I was a kid from the 50’s living in Flushing, New York City. That’s when Flushing had only 3 Chinese people there – and, by the way, I knew all of them. Wait, wait, I forgot, there was Ling Ling, too, so there were four. No, no, I’m sorry. Mistake. Ling Ling was a panda at the zoo. I just remembered that. Yeah, there were just three Chinese people in Flushing in the early 50’s. Jeez, I’m getting confused after all these years.
Maybe the Lord wanted someone with a pure heart. Mine, however, was infarcted. I guess he overlooked that little flaw when he saw my overall righteousness. In any case He, or one of his emissaries, called upon me recently in the middle of the night, around 12:30 AM to be precise, just after Perry Mason had solved a case and the network went to their sponsor. Now, I knew it couldn’t be an ordinary mortal calling me at that time, because I’ve warned people over and over for years that I don’t want any calls after 7 PM unless someone has died. (If someone is badly injured, I’ve extended the time to 7:30.) Look, I value my beauty sleep, so I go to sleep early, okay? But a 12:30 AM call for me was extraordinary, and I was guessing angel or prophet or maybe somebody even with a higher ranking was dialing me up. At first, to be honest, when I heard the voice I thought it was the Supreme Being himself. Why not? Noah and Moses had been called, too, so it’s not like I was the only one, right? And when I thought about those guys, you had to figure we had a lot in common such as piety, modesty and stickball. (Remember, Moses used a stick on that rock, apparently whiffing a few times before he got some water out of it. But, just between you and me, it’s highly doubtful whether he could have hit a Spaldeen 2 sewers, as I could, unless an omnipotent ruler of the universe had chosen to intervene on his behalf.)