​(Last blog on this subject.  If you haven’t read Stress I and Stress II, shame on you.) 

​Don’t despair about this stress thing.  Just follow the instructions below and you’ll soon be  coming to a place of sublime tranquility or splendorous serenity. Eh, just pick one of those.  What??  You thought you could have sublime tranquility AND splendorous serenity?  Hey, let’s not get too greedy here.

​​We’re about to embark on a new year, and this prompted me to scour the world of literature on behalf of Ping Pong Parkinson to search for words of wisdom to live by.  I found some pithy stuff written by Confucious, of course, but I have also included, Friedrich Nietzsche, Henry Ford, The United States Army and W.C. Fields. How’s that for a potpourri of savvy humans!

​   I keep hearing about MRSA (Mersa), and it scares me to death.  Why? It’s not because I’m unhinged  (regardless of what my mother said), it’s just that I’m very concerned about Staphylococcus aureus.  I used to be frightened of Yersinia pestis because I didn’t want to get the plague.  (Hey, don’t put that down as preposterous – if that bacteria  could destroy civilizations, it could probably get me, too.)  But now I’ve been concentrating on MRSA, because pus and pustules are unnerving and can harm my bodily fluids. Yeah, guilty, you found me out:  I don’t like anything with pus in it.

     So, here’s the thing:  When people see me going for my alcohol sanitizer and whispering “What an idiot” – it doesn’t phase me.  In a few seconds my hands are free of, not just Staph aureus, but some other no goodniks, too, including Salmonella, strep and Pseudomonas.  However, I’m still wondering if the guy serving the ping pong ball to me has washed his hands within the last few months.  Look, that guy (or gal) could be colonized with MRSA.  He could be colonizing the ball.  Eventually, I may have to touch that ball.  I don’t know about you, but before I serve, I’m giving that Nittaku 3 star ball  a bath in undiluted Clorox. 

    Really, I just can’t take the idea that no one besides me is wary of the MRSA threat.  Just beware that in this  festive season, that people might attempt to hug and caress you and wish you godspeed and all that, but that they may be spreading the dreaded MRSA.  For your sake and mine, don’t shake hands with anybody. Ever! Ask all those that claim to love you to prove that their vaccinations are up to date.  And make them wash their hands and put on a mask and gloves before they come close to offering Seasons Greetings.     Lao Du     

​Stress, Part III will be arriving shortly (hold on to your hats).  In the meantime, may I present this meaningful and profound poem by Mario Raul de Morais Andrade (they didn’t have short names like “Twiggy” back in the early 1920’s.