In this blog I’m not going to explain to you how an eagle flies (I think it has something to do with Bernoulli’s Principle), but I am going to claim some license (I issue my own by virtue of advancing age and sports-related experience), to lay out some commonsense rules involving ping pong etiquette. These will be reasonable and rational guidelines based on an obvious standard of morality. (I’ll be the judge, of course.)
What prompted me to initiate this undertaking is the total insensitivity and discourtesy – maybe cluelessness, too – that I encounter with one or two guys in the club who insist on playing with a dozen balls in an “uncurtained” area. Those balls unfailingly end up on other players’ courts, continuously interrupting their games. Ya know what I have to say about that? PHOOEY!!! This is just not socially acceptable. Period! You either have some nerve to do this, or maybe you think you’re entitled because you have a rating within a thousand points of Ma Long. Or, maybe you’re just plain insensitive to the rights of others. Or, maybe you’re just as dumb as a sack of nuts and bolts. In any case, it’s gotta stop. Now! I can’t take it anymore. It messes up my concentration and I might lose because of it. (And then what am I supposed to tell my diary, huh???).
Okay, that’s one thing. Another matter that is trying my patience and driving me crazy involves those guys who return balls to you by just kicking them on the ground in your direction. That, I wanna tell you, is NOT acceptable, either. The respectful and considerate way is to patrol your backcourt area, pickup the trespassing balls and tactfully return them from whence they came with either a respectable toss by hand or a soft, paddle-propelled air mail delivery.
And one more thing. Don’t return balls with a ton of spin, in which an attempt is made to demonstrate how skillful he or she is, by having it bounce on the table and have it magically return to the ball’s owner. It doesn’t work most of the time, and often the poor SOB on the receiving end has to walk 5 yards to retrieve it.
To be continued… LD