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The Corona Virus should have taught us that life and death issues were the most important
things to consider in our lives. Didn’t happen. Our ping pong ratings are apparently more important. And in furtherance or proof of that assertion, one guy at the club says he’s thinking of joining QAnon, The Proud Boys and The Oath Keepers. Why, you may ask? Well, he said people will be so scared of him (“they’ll be shaking in their boots”) and won’t be able to hit a ball back over the net. He says his rating will go up. Editor: So, why wasn’t this guy with the bunch that rioted at the US Capitol on January 6th? Lao Du: He said he decided not to go to the Insurrection Party with all those Q’s on January 6th, because most federal prisons do not have ping pong facilities. (Note: The Biden administration is currently trying to remedy this in the reconciliation bill they’re proposing. They have budgeted enough funds to pay for Double Fish Tables at all high security penitentiaries across the country. This is of special importance to those of us playing in Pleasantville, because we could make the trip to Sing Sing in Ossining and barely lose a day of ping pong action after committing a felony.) Editor: Do you think this guy would consider joining in another insurrection? Lao Du: Oh, for sure. With the new table tennis facilities available at your major high security prisons, that’s the clincher for this QAnon wannabe. He said he would like very much to visit the Capitol and to meet his representative and senators in person. You know, shake their hands … take their iPads. In a related story: Pope Francis, the Dalai Lama and some PPP members are not a part of the cabal that QAnon says are Satan-worshiping pedophiles. How does one know this to be true? Well, it’s obvious: None of the aforementioned uses Long Pips! (But, in keeping with total transparency, it has to be acknowledged that the Pope does have a wicked serve.) Lao Du
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