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We’re about to embark on a new year, and this prompted me to scour the world of literature on behalf of Ping Pong Parkinson to search for words of wisdom to live by. I found some pithy stuff written by Confucious, of course, but I have also included, Friedrich Nietzsche, Henry Ford, The United States Army and W.C. Fields. How’s that for a potpourri of savvy humans! Speaking of savvy humans, I have additionally and unabashedly included some Lao Du sagacity which, I am sure if Confucious were alive today, he would embrace wholeheartedly (but perhaps not with the same level of keen insight).
Confucious: “It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.” “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals; adjust the action steps.” “To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness.” “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.” “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.” “If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.” “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” “It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve, and bad things are very easy to get.” “Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?” Friedrich Nietzsche: “Anything that does’t kill me strengthens me.” Henry Ford: Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right. Susan Longacre (I never heard of this woman, but this is a nice little proverb) Reach for the stars, even if you have to stand on a cactus. From Uncle Sam (US Army) When it’s not moving, paint it. When it moves, salute it. Be All You Can Be. (Was a recruiting slogan for the United States Army.) W.C. Fields Never give a sucker an even break. W.C. Fields (In ping pong, this means serve him the tomahawk – the average bum can’t return it.) Lao Du (from his sagacious writings): When taking a Chinese woman on a first date to a Chinese restaurant, if you’re not adept with chop sticks don’t order slippery food. New Joysey: It’s not just a state – it’s a diagnosis! (Secession is the only way we’ll get rid of that garden paradise called New Joysey. Suggestion: Let’s use Jersey Barriers.) Ya know, it’s a funny thing about jock itch: Ya don’t think about it until you get it. From the man’s point of view, the only real reason to get married is to make it easier to fold sheets. From the woman’s point of view, the only real reason to get married is to have someone open jars. Lao Du says: Man doth not live by bread alone. Man often needs to add cream cheese. I played in a ping pong tournament in Las Vegas … and I lost (badly). Didn’t want to tell anybody. “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” Lao Du says: Everyone has to find his or her calling. (My father called me ‘shtunk.’ I’m afraid that’s my calling.) Lao Du says Confucius say: Lactose intolerant people who drink soy milk do not toot their own horns. Lao Du says Confucius say: Lactose intolerant people drinking 4% whole milk do not need jetskis. Confucius Say: All storms pass. Lao Du say: But some boats sink.
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